Before I fully get started with this blog post, I would like to express a huge thank you to all of those who have been supporting me whilst i’ve been taking what has essentially been a short hiatus from my blog. Money has been tighter than usual, University harder + much more stressful than what I had originally thought and my relationships have been a bit wonky to say the least. I also appreciate everyone not badgering me about my whereabouts and rather lightly saying that they couldn’t wait to have me back. So seriously, thank you all so very much, you are the reason I enjoy writing on this blog so much.
These past couple of months have been what can be lightly put as a strain on my emotional and mental wellbeing at many a times. Moving out of my first ‘proper’ house and into my first ‘proper’ flat as well as entering my last year of University have placed on me a copious amount of stress regarding the ‘next chapter’ of my journey - leading an adult life, getting a graduate job and managing finances like an adult who will no longer depend on student financing from the government (note: I also do work, but I will stress out that this maintenance grant has been good to me).
Another momental event is that I will be turning 21 in several months time, another stress towards being an ‘adult’ and responsible and the likes. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that I won’t have to suddenly change with all of these new responsibilities; and quite frankly I’m probably dealing with a lot of them already, but just the excuse of being young is slowly diminishing from my list of excuses I could whip out.
Lastly on the depressing notes of this blog post, I recently passed what would have been me and my ex’s one year anniversary. Hilariously, as I began this paragraph one of his favourite artists came on in the coffee shop and I’ve learned to smirk at such things - something which may have reduced me to tears a few months back. Sure, he treated me like crap a lot of the time, and we didn’t see each other much because of his other + more important ‘priorities’, i did care for that guy an insane amount. I was a fool, and in love, and lets be honest; that isn’t a great combination. Time has healed those initial wounds and i no longer need him in my life, but there is still a slight something missing which i understand is a natural occurrence after being left by someone who you have loved dearly. Loved way too much, probably.
On that note, it’s all in perspective. Old and dusty relationships leave so you can make way for new ones with a better future. You graduate university to go onto bigger and better things (read: bar the loans i’m paying back); as much as I hate to say it I’m slowly being drained of working as a barista and would rather be the ‘work-at-home’ person that is sat down eating a pastel de nata (my absolute fav food ever). I moved house, which was emotional, but this new place is gorgeous and has my name written all over it (not literally - that would be my flat deposit gone). I’m in the process of moving on in my life, but is that necessarily a bad thing?
But don’t you worry, one thing I won’t be moving on with is this blog. You guys are stuck with me.